Taku Mokai

Quick Write

Quick Write Number One - The Beekeeper

For the next two weeks we are going to work on ‘Quick Writes.’  This is where you are given something to write about (a writing prompt) and you only have 10mins to write as much as possible using this writing prompt.

For our writing prompts we will use either images or short videos.

The purpose of this is to practise writing fluently.

When we look at our writing prompt we will have about 10-15 mins to discuss it and brainstorm some ideas and vocabulary.   

Our learning goals are to:

-write a description, using powerful words and phrases

-include some Te Reo Māori

-carefully check that our sentences make sense and have correct punctuation and spelling.

When we are writing we need to think about…

1. What do I want my reader to see?

2) What do I want my reader to hear?

3) What do I want my reader to smell?

Tips:

-look closely at the picture or video

-think about the three key questions and the learning goals

-give yourself time to plan and write

This is my Writing:

The beekeeper

As I walk a though the winding blossom trees a strong smell climbs up my spine and  into my nostrils. Behind a blossom rakau (tree) I found my bee’s working away quietly. Suddenly, the breeze blew me off my feet and I landed in a puddle of blossoms. They were as soft  as  slime melting. I heard a crack  and the beekeeper was picking the soft piece of delicate honey off the hive. The beekeeper gave me some crispy honey, It tasted like Te Rā brightening my body.

Elections work, poster

We were learning about the 2017 elections. We got to pick a group to make our own poster and political party.

Robot Rampage

We have been learning how to write our own narrative writing. We had a sentence starter to help us write.

Narrative Writing Term 3 2017

Click on the link below to watch the story starter for this week.

http://success-for-boys.tki.org.nz/Teaching-learning-resources/Story-Starters/Runaway-Robot-Rampage

Story Starter = Runaway Robot Rampage

Your Name:Billie

Story starter: Every weekend there was one job Mākoko hated doing: mowing the lawns. He’d much rather be building his latest robot invention in the shed. That was it! What if Mākoko could build a robot to mow the lawns?

WALT: write a narrative that entertains or tells a story about people,places or events.
S.C:
Our Story will...
-have a title that captures our reader's interest
-Have an orientation/beginning that has a hook and establishes the setting and characters.
-Have a complication/problem that needs to be solved
-Have a conclusion where the problem is solved.
-Use interesting language, words, adjectives, language features such as similes, onomatopoeia
-plan our story so we know what to write about
-proof-read and edit
-make sure our sentences make sense
-use a range of punctuation
-Use some Te Reo Māori words

My 2 key goal: Punctuation and ending of words .Planning

Title:	Lazy Bones
Orientation/Beginning/Hook Characters	Every year there was one job Mākoko hated doing: doing  the spring cleaning. He’d much rather be building his latest robot invention in the shed. That was it! What if Mākoko could build a robot to  whakarau the house? Characters: - Mākoko-clever boy who created the  robot -Wai Nekeneke -robot- town people
Complication/Problem	His robot goes really good and does the house spring cleaning and then he goes  and cleans every house in town. One day the robot has a upgrade and starts getting really lazy
Conclusion - How does the problem get solved?	Then when Was Keneke is sleeping his owner comes and shuts the robot down and makes the robot turn good again and then goes and cleans every body's house.and Mākoko gets rich from his amazing robot.
Language Simile (He was as tall as a giraffe/ She was like a wild, angry gorilla that had been released from its cage!) Onomatopoeia(sound words) Interesting Adjectives (describing words) Te Reo Māori.	The town people were yapping in disagreement of Wainekenek. THe town people were angry as a shark ripping up it pray.

My Story 

Lazy Bones

Every year there was one job Mākoko hated doing: doing  the spring cleaning. He’d much rather be building his latest robot invention in the shed. That was it! What if Mākoko could build a robot to  whakarauiri( clean)the house?  

Mākoko was very intelligent and smart so he thought making a robot would be easy. Mākoko stayed up all night creating this new robot spring cleaner. It was going to be a long night! Suddenly, the sun shot up from the east side of the land and shone brighter than a lamp in your eyes. Mākoko knew it was going to be a good day.”Before I turn you on, I have to give you a name,’’ exclaimed Mākoko.” “I’m going to call you Wai Nekeneke.” Wai Nekeneke rattled and shook as Mākoko gently turned the on button on!

Wai Nekeneke had 4 arms, two on each side. On one side there was a sponge and a rag, also on the other side there was a duster and a spray bottle. Wai Nekeneke’s legs were his Mum’s work vaccum cleaners. Wai Nekeneke was mainly gray and black. He had a digital face.

That day while Wai nekeneke was cleaning, Mākoko caught up on his sleep. While he was sleeping his Robot suddenly walked off to the village/iwi whenua houses and started to  whakarauiri( clean). “Yay!’’ “Wahoo!” screamed the village people. “ Is my robot being a pain?” said Mākoko. “No”, said the village people in excitement. My house is as shiny as glass freshly cut, beamed one person. ”Can I please borrow your robot for a night to  whakarauiri( clean) my house” shouted another town person. “Yes, sure’’ “said Mākoko in excitement.” Soon Mākoko became rich and happy because every one wanted Wai Nekeneke to whakarauiri their houses.

One day Mākoko got a call from a customer telling him that his robot had gone lazy and when you tried to grab it, it would  walk away.”Don't worry,” Mākoko said quickly. Mākoko ran over to the customer’s house and grabbed Wai Nekeneke. “What do you think you are doing,” screamed Mākoko! The Robot replied: “I would answer but I can't be bothered to. “As fast as Mākoko could he operated on this lazy robot with Anger. As he ripped the parts open then he realised that someone had turned on the lazy button. It was going to be a long night .

The next morning Wai Nekeneke was good as new. Mākoko had done a great job. Mākoko turned lazy himself, and didn’t have to do any more cleaning. “Mākoko,” yelled his Mum, “do the dishes.” Ouph! Time to make another robot exclaimed Mākoko. No, yelled his mum, do the dishes and don’t be lazy. “But Mākoko means lazy,” snorted Mākoko…….

How did you go?

What do you think you did well?  I think I did better my speech and Punctuation.

What could you work on next time?More exciting words.

Teacher Feedback:

Kia ora Billie

I really enjoyed your story about Mākoko and Wai Nekeneke. I think you did do a good job at your punctuation and using lots of speech correctly. I also enjoyed the Te Reo Māori you used and I thought you used some great language to entertain your reader like, “Suddenly, the sun shot up from the east side of the land and shone brighter than a lamp in your eyes.”

I also liked how you described your characters.

You are doing some great writing work this year.  Keep developing your punctuation skills and your use of interesting language and your writing will just get better and better.

Ka pai tō mahi tuhituhi.

Math Place Value

WALT....
Recognise how many tens and hundreds are in numbers. Here is my work.

Persuasive Writing we should we should fix our field!

We have been having a go at writing a piece of persuasive writing. Here is my piece of writing about why we should fix our filed.

Title A Short Statement about the topic. ‘Rugby League Is A Great Sport’	Our Field Needs Finished and Fixed!
Overview/ Statement of position A brief statement of your view about the topic.  What you believe or want to argue.	Dear Mrs Truman and the Board of Trustees, I strongly believe that we should get our feld fixed NOW! I would feel disappointed if we didn’t have a field at Karoro School.  We can't do big events like the Gala because we only have a small amount of space. We can’t train for specific sports. We have to pay to go to places to train and have a game on a field. Also we are whati (running) on concrete and it is bad for some people's feet. We need the field fixed Now!
Series of Arguments Reasons Your points supporting your view about the topic.  Your arguments to support your statement and information to support these arguments. Remember -argument -supporting detail, reasons, examples	Firstly, I think we need to fix the field because constantly we are running on concrete and its hurting my hīkaikai(feet)! When we run on concrete it is bad for some peoples feet, especially me! For example I was training for cross country and my feet starting killing me I had to stop. I feel mad when I run on concrete and the thought of never getting a field, disturbs me.
	Secondly, the school has bought lots of sports equipment and it not getting used because we have no field! We have lots of equipment that is just nohotŪ (sitting) still in the P.E Shead. I’m not the one that brought all this equipment so if we don’t have a field that is like money down the drain! I respected the P.E equipment but why do we have P.E equipment that were not going to be using??
	Thirdly, all the children in the school only have a small amount of playing place. This is dangerous because people can collide and fall on the hard concrete. This makes me feel sad because people can get uruha(hurt) and we can’t play as many game because we don’t have a field! It would be disappointing if you wanted children to get hurt.
	Finally, we need to train and keep fit for events. As children growing up we need to sleep , be healthy also many more. But being hauora(health) we need to be fit. As a student at Karoro School I want to try and represent our school for all things, I want to be fit and happy to be at sports games and other events. To train we need to have space that won't be so squashed. We need a FIElD!
Concluding statement Summing it up.  A summary of your arguments and your view on the topic.	IN conclusion we need to fix and finish our field! WE need our field because the concrete is hurting my feet, The equipment was so expensive and we don’t want that to go to waste, the kids at Karoro School are crowded. Also to represent Karoro School in learning and sport we need to keep fit and healthy. WE are certainly disappointed if we don’t have a field. We need a field for lots of reasons but it is hard not having a field at school!

Rocky Shore Animal Work!

We have been using our reading skill across the curriculum to learn about the rocky shore. Below I did about a rocky shore creature that I was interested in.

Smart Cookie New- Introducing The Team

Here is our Smart Cookie News introducing ourselves. Smart Cookie new is a group that I made with my friends and we do interesting news items and videos. We work together to do this work and we do this mostly without teacher help. We hope you enjoy.

Smart Cookie News Leisa

Here is our Smart Cookie News about my mum Leisa Williams.  Smart Cookie News is a group I made with my friends and we do interesting news items and videos.  We work together to do this work and we do it mostly without teacher help.  We come up with all the ideas by ourselves.   We hope you enjoy.

Click here for our news report.

Leisa Williams is my mother (I am Billie Williams) and is  married to Scott Williams.

Today she is 41 and has 5 kids including me. Her kids are  called Saxon, Billie, Poppy, Molly and Mac. Mac is the oldest and Saxon is the youngest.

Leisa Williams was a great swimmer and has gone all over New Zealand for championships. This was when she was younger. Leisa also plays  Hockey for West Coast and Gray Valley and is not famous .Leisa has won lots of medals and certificates for swimming. Leisa also swam for Canterbury Swim Team with her mum and Dad supporting her., Her mum is called Lynn and her Dad is called Kevin.   

My Sea Week Writing.

For sea week we wrote about why the ocean is important. Here is my writing work. Please leave a kind, positive and thoughtful comment.